My heart aches for the pain you have survived, and I have the utmost respect for how you have learned to persist despite your challenges and struggles. The first thing that I want you to know is I seek to provide you with a safe place in a healthy way for us to work together, where I can teach you the skills you need not only to heal your wounds but how to develop the skills to reach your own goals healthily.
Unfortunately, there is no place to learn that being emotionally healthy, and routine is not the same.
I see my role as a teacher. Working together, you will develop many skills to get your needs met healthily for yourself and your relationships.
The more skills you have, the more choices will be available. It is much easier to make healthier choices and not settle for what is "normal," which is what most people feel is the only choice.
Before you have the tools you need, you are almost in the same position as before you learned to read. You can't ask someone to do something they have no idea how to do.
My role is to ensure you have enough new skills to make better and healthier decisions. You will not be judged. We will work together to make your life better.
A more precise and straightforward explanation is that we all do the best we can at any given time. If we knew how to do it better, we would. My job is to provide you with enough new skills so that you can do it better, have more choices, and make healthier decisions.
If you come in for couples counseling, you need to accept that up until you came in, you have each done the best you knew how to in that relationship. In my practice, there is no blame or judgment. My job is to teach you how to do it better.
Ellen Bobruff Reese, MSW, LCSW, BCD, NASW Diplomate